博士谈育儿方法劳伦斯科恩博士只要掌握了这
2024年09月10日 静态资讯
本栏目由壹父母和简耕教育联合出品
「 壹姐儿说 」
嗨，大家好，我是壹姐儿。今天，我要给大家安利一个特别棒的育儿方法，英文名「Playful Parenting 」，我们叫它「游戏育儿」。
游戏育儿的创始人劳伦斯·科恩博士（Lawrence Cohen，PhD）是美国著名临床心理学家、儿童游戏治疗师、亲子关系专家。
他总结了自己多年在儿童游戏、游戏治疗和亲子教养领域的实操和经验，写成了《游戏力》一书。这本书不仅曾获得过美国国家亲子出版奖金奖，还被翻译成14种语言在全球销售。
作为游戏育儿理念的推广者，科恩博士还在世界各国开设了多场演讲、父母工作坊等，实实在在地帮助了很多家庭。
壹姐儿本人也是游戏育儿理念的受益者，亲测超有用。我的原则是，好方法不怕晒，只有拿出来和大家一起共享，相互启发，我们每个人的收获才能翻倍。
所以，我们决定联合科恩博士的中国合伙人简耕教育，共同出品「游戏育儿」这个全新的栏目，用生动的案例，跟大家分享游戏育儿的理念和实操。
在这个栏目里，你可能看到文章、视频，也可能听到音频，甚至科恩博士本人也会不定期出境哦~
今天，为了庆贺本专栏的开张，科恩博士也专程从美国寄来了发刊词。
以下是来自劳伦斯·科恩博士的发刊词原文（附翻译）。
文 | Lawrence Cohen
Hi, I’m Lawrence Cohen. I’d like to welcome you to this very first online a series of articles that will introduce Playful Parenting course designed specifically forto parents in China.
大家好, 我是科恩，欢迎来到壹父母为中国父母开设的“游戏育儿”专栏！
I’m a father. I’m a stepfather. I’m a grandfather. I’malso a psychologist.
我是位父亲，是位继父，也是位祖父，同时，我也是位心理学家。
And I designed Playful Parenting based on my studiesof Attachment Theory and Trauma Theory and Narrative Therapyand Re-evaluation Counseling and all the other things that I studied learning child development，but most ofall I based Playful Parenting on my own experiences as a father, the joyful experiences and painful experiences.
游戏力的理念来源于我学习过的依附理论、创伤理论、叙事疗法、再评价咨询和其他儿童发展领域的研究，但最重要的基础还是我作为父亲的体验，那些或者愉快、或者痛苦的体验。
And I develop Playful Parenting in order to help myown parenting, my friends, my family and the families that I work with in myoffice.
设计游戏力的目的是为了帮助我自己养育，帮助我的朋友、我的家人以及那些进入我咨询室的家庭。
After several years presenting workshops and classesin China, and answering hundreds of questions from Chinese parents, I haveadapted Playful Parenting to address your specific needs and concerns.
在过去的几年中，我在中国开办了多次工作坊和课程，回答了几百个来自中国父母的问题，这帮助我用游戏力的知识和技巧来解答你所关心的问题和具体的困惑。
I have been deeply moved by the dedication Chineseparents have for their children’s well-being and success. I have shared the joyand delight that Chinese take in their children. And I have felt the pain ofthe difficulties and struggles that many parents face as they strive to dotheir best.
中国父母为了孩子的幸福和成功无私奉献，这种精神深深地打动了我。你们从孩子身上收获了喜悦和快乐，我也为你们高兴。同时，许多父母也面临着困难和挣扎，却依然竭尽全力做到最好，你们的痛苦我感同身受。
So this course is designed to address the three biggestchallenges that face Chinese parents today:
因此，创办这个专栏的初衷，就是为了帮助中国父母应对当今社会最重大的三个挑战。
The first is that the world is changing and we can’tjust do things exactly that our parents did, even if we wanted to.
第一个挑战：世界在变化，作为家长，即便我们愿意，也不能照搬自己父母那一套。
But we are not sure what to do instead. I have greatrespects for my parents, for your parents, but the world has changed andparenting has to change also.
可是，我们也不知道到底应该如何做父母。我非常尊重自己的父母，也很尊重你们的父母，但世界已经改变了，育儿方式也必须改变。
Connection is the heart of parenting. A strong, secureattachment has been approved again and again to be crucial to children successin life, in every area of life.
联结是育儿的核心。坚实而安全的依附关系对儿童未来各方面的成功至关重要！这已经被一次次验证。
The second big challenge the parents face today isthere are so many things that pull away from connection.
第二个挑战：总有太多事情阻碍父母和孩子进行联结。
Academic pressures, the fastpace of life,financial worries, smart phones and computers, the loss of time out in naturewith slower pace.
学业压力、快节奏生活、经济压力、手机、电脑，客观环境的变化使人们融入自然、体会慢生活的时间越来越少。
So Playful Parenting is all about restoring connectionto it’s right place as the center of the family. Connection is the very essenceof Playful Parenting.
所以，游戏力这种养育方式就是要使联结重新成为家庭的中心，回归到它本来应有的位置。联结正是游戏力的本质！
The two biggest ways to connect are first love andaffection; coddling and attention, giving children what they need and thesecond is play.
联结有两大方式，一是爱和关心、爱抚和关注、给予孩子所需；二就是游戏。
Now I call my method Playing Parenting not becauseit’s all about play and play all the time but because play is the part that weusually forget.
我把这种养育方式称为“游戏力”，不是因为它只是玩，要一直玩，而是因为游戏常常被我们遗忘。
Play is the part that goes out of the window when weare stressed or worried.
每当压力来袭，焦虑滋生，游戏就被抛到了九霄云外。
So let’s being play and light-heartedness, back intothe lives of ourselves parenting and the lives of our children, because play iswhere children live, play is how they learn best ….
所以，让我们放轻松，玩起来，将游戏带入养育生活，带入孩子的生活，因为游戏就是孩子的生活方式，也是他们学习的最好方式。
The third big challenge for today’s parents is thepressure to be perfect.
第三个挑战：父母内心都在追求完美。
I’m sure you know what I mean. I don’t want PlayfulParenting to be another pressure. I want it to be a joyful way to ease thepressure, while you still keep your high expectations for your children.
你们一定明白我的意思。我不希望游戏力成为另外一个压力，我希望它能帮助你轻松减压，同时，保持对孩子的高期待。
I don’t want you to think: now I have to play, justright！This is about relaxing into parenting — joining inchildren in ways that work for them and work for us.
我不希望你们这么想：现在我必须玩，要正确地玩！游戏力提倡轻松养育，以你和孩子都能接受的方式加入他们就可以了。
We tried to be perfect and it’s exhausting.
我们曾经追求完美，到头来却精疲力尽。
We need to take care of ourselves. We need to taketime to pause, to reflect on what it means to a parent？
我们需要关照自己，暂停一下，思考父母这一身份究竟意味着什么？
What kind of parent do I want to be? What’s importantto me? These are some questions I hope you will ask as you learn more aboutPlayful Parenting.
我希望自己成为怎样的父母？什么对我是重要的？我希望在学习游戏力的过程中，你会不断地问自己这些问题。
I hope you’ll learn a great deal from these articles.But I don’t want you to take as final word or the total truth.
我希望你们从这个专栏中收获颇丰，但却不希望你们将此奉为真理，或止步于此。
Parenting is something so personal so deeply from theheart that we have to take in from what we hear and see if it fits for us.
养育是一个非常私人化的过程，它源于我们内心深处，所以请选取那些你需要的，然后试试看它们是否适合你。
So question it. See if it really works but don’t justreject it just because it is different from what you expect and what you usedto.
因此，欢迎质疑，看这种方法是否有效。千万不要因为这和你之前的习惯或期待不一样就拒绝它。
Give it a try. I’d like to see Playing Parenting as aset of experiments. What I can try next? What I am doing is not working sowell. So let me experiment with something very different！
试试看吧！我更愿意将游戏育儿看成一个接一个的实验：接下来我能试些什么？现在的方法不太有效，那我就实验一下完全不同的方法吧！
There are many ways to learn more about PlayfulParenting, from workshops to online classes to Knowledge Courses and articleslike the ones here at iParent. I welcome you on this journey of discovery.
学习游戏力的途径有很多，工作坊、线上基础课，以及壹父母这里开办的专栏。欢迎你开启一段发现之旅！
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